Teen Depression

Don’t let your teen go undiagnosed by assuming they are just being a moody teenager

More and more adolescent and teenage boys and girls are suffering from some form of depression. Many parents mistake depression for sadness, moodiness, and pass it off as normal teen behavior.  That mistake has led to an increase in teen drug addiction, mental breakdowns and suicide to name a few.

 

Teens And Mental Health

Teens suffering with mental, emotional and drug related issues must find the root cause to experience full recovery.  In Los Angeles school district, suicide attempts have increased from a reported 225 in 2011 to over 5000 this year.  There has  been a substantial increase in the percentage of young people aged 12-20 who have reported having a major depressive episode (MDE). (An MDE is defined as a period of at least two weeks of low mood that is present in most situations. Symptoms include low self-esteem, loss of interest in normally enjoyable activities, and problems with sleep, energy and concentration.)

 

Despite the rise in teen depression, the study, which analyzed data from the National Surveys on Drug Use and Health, reported that there isn’t an equal increase in mental health treatment for adolescents and young adults. Research shows this is an indication that there is a growing number of young people who are under-treated or not treated at all for their symptoms. Meanwhile, among those who did get help, treatment tended to be more intense, often involving specialized care by inpatient and outpatient providers and including prescription medications.

 

Demi Lovato recently released a documentary, Simply Complicated,  about what led to her extreme addiction at such a young age.  Demi was a child Disney star that quickly led to her fame and intensely successful musical career.  But along that journey, Demi encountered what so many of your young kids, especially females, experience and that is bullying.  Cyber-bullying is at the heart of so many of our girls feeling deep depression, cutting themselves, refusing to go to school, isolating themselves and turning to drugs and alcohol to numb their painful world.   Demi was a victim of cruel girls passing around a petition at school for kids to sign stating Demi should just go kill herself.  At that point, Demi left school.  She spiraled into severe eating disorders from gorging on an entire batch of chocolate chip cookies to throwing up so often that only blood would come up.  Demi has since been diagnosed with Bipolar disorder as well but she went undiagnosed for years.  Her mom just thought she was being a normal kid.  At the age of 18, Demi couldn’t go 30 minutes without cocaine.  Even after she went in for her first rehab treatment, even with a sober life mentor that lived with her 24/7, she was drinking straight vodka at 9:00 in the morning while she threw up in the car on the way to the airport.  She learned to fool everyone.  She went through 20 sober life companions.  She has to hit full rock bottom to begin her life of surrender.  She may be a famous celebrity but she is just one more young tragedy that thankfully had people around her that loved her enough to leave her, tough love as we call it, and to stop turning away and enabling her deadly destructive behavior.

 

Our youth need strong, tough, loving families that are willing to force them to get the diagnosis, to get the treatment, to learn the way back to a healthy and happy life.  To sit back and pretend that there is nothing wrong or actually being too lazy to deal with the overwhelming prospect of your child actually having depression, anxiety, eating disorders, drug addiction or one of the many things that are destroying our children, is to enable them to continue until it’s too late.

 

Our children live in a world full of negative and scary and destructive behaviors that they have access to through a dangerous addiction called social media.  The comparative game, the intense and disturbing bullying, the access to horrific stories, lifestyles, lack of any kind of morals or character, and no balance of positive anywhere to be found.  There is help.  There are amazing places full of councilors and medical staff to get your child the help they need.  Don’t turn a blind eye.  Diagnosis is step one.  Take that step out of love.

How Anxiety Destroys Relationships and How to Stop it

Anxiety in Relationships

 

Anxiety can affect our health in obvious reasons. Mentally, emotionally, and physically. But anxiety can not only affect your own personal health, but possibly the health of your relationship as well. Anxiety can cause periods of panic, feelings of fear or overwhelm, and a general sense of unease and tension. It can take over your thoughts and bleed into many areas of your life. If you are feeling any kind of strain or disconnect in your relationship, anxiety may be playing a role. Whether it be your anxiety or your partner’s, it could be affecting your relationship. There are ways you can stop it and help your relationship from getting to that level of anxiety again.

 

  1. Anxiety breaks down trust and connection…

 

Anxiety causes fear and/or worry that can make you less aware of your true needs in any given moment. It can also make you less aware of your partner’s needs and wants. If you are constantly worrying about what could happen, then you are making it difficult to worry about what is happening. If you are feeling overwhelmed, your partner may end up feeling as if you are not fully present.

 

Instead, train your brain to live in the moment…

 

If you start to notice or feel a concern as if your thoughts are straying from the present moment, stop and think about what you do know as opposed to what you do not know. Calm down and think before you act. You can then start to build purposeful trust with your partner in your relationship. Be open with your partner about your feelings. Talk with them when you start to worry and feel overwhelmed. Instead of withdrawing completely, use them as leverage to help you get through it.

 

  1. Anxiety crushes your true voice, creating panic and procrastination…

           

Someone who is used to feeling anxious and uptight, may have trouble expressing how they truly feel. It also may be difficult to keep reasonable boundaries by asking for the attention or space that is needed. Since experiencing anxiety is uncomfortable, subconsciously you may try to postpone the experience of it. On the other hand, anxiety can cause you to believe that something must be talked about immediately, when in fact a short break may be beneficial. If you do not express what you truly feel or need, anxiety becomes stronger. Plus, your emotions may eventually spiral out of control if you keep them in. You may become overwhelmed and defensive.

 

 

So acknowledge your feelings sooner rather than later…

           

A feeling or concern doesn’t have to be a disaster in order for it to be addressed. Approach your partner with kindness, so that you are neither procrastinating nor panicking. Also, find time on your own to unpack some of the thoughts or fears circulating in your mind; they are draining your time and energy. To find help for anxiety issues through therapy contact us to locate a mental health expert in your local area.

 

  1. Anxiety causes you to behave selfishly…

 

Because anxiety is an overactive fear response, someone experiencing it may at times focus too much on his or her own concerns or problems. Your worries and fears may be putting unnecessary pressure on your relationship. You may feel like you need to worry in order to protect yourself in your relationship, but it might be keeping you from being compassionate and vulnerable with your partner. If your partner experiences anxiety, you may build up resentment and react in selfish ways as well. The attitudes and perspectives that we have are contagious. Keeping your stress levels under control is especially hard when your partner is feeling anxious, upset, or defensive.

 

So attend to your needs, not your fears…

 

When you notice yourself becoming fearful or defensive, take a moment to consider the compassion that you have for yourself and your partner. Clearly ask for the support you need to feel loved and understood. Apologize for letting anxiety make you self-absorbed.

 

  1. Anxiety is the opposite of acceptance…

           

A healthy form of worry will tell you “something is not right”; it comes via that quick pull at your heart or that tight feeling in your stomach. This signal helps you act, such as when you speak up for someone who is being treated poorly. Unhealthy levels of anxiety make you feel as though an emotional “rock” is in your stomach almost all the time. Which can be very unhealthy, holding in your feelings can create a massive discomfort and can often cause more health problems, like depression for example. Anxiety causes you to reject things that are not dangerous and avoid things that might benefit you. It also can stop you from taking healthy action to change things in your life that are hurting you because it makes you feel hopeless or stuck.

 

So trying practicing being uncomfortable…

 

You do not need to either ignore or obsess over an uncomfortable thought. Take constructive action if you can. Sometimes your partner just needs you to be present with his or her feelings, and sometimes you need to offer that same gift to yourself. You can show your presence to your partner with soft eyes or a soft touch, and be present for yourself with a calming breath.

 

  1. Anxiety robs you of joy…

           

Experiencing joy requires a sense of safety or freedom. Anxiety makes us feel either fearful or limited. Also, a brain and body trained to stress may have a much harder time enjoying sex and intimacy. Negative thoughts and fears impact a person’s ability to be present within a relationship, potentially sucking the joy out of a moment.

 

So do not take yourself too seriously…

You can use your sense of humor to overcome anxiety. Remember to laugh and play with your partner. Joy physically heals and comforts your brain in ways that are vital for a healthy relationship. As anxiety weakens, your relationship strengthens. Building trust within your relationship may reduce the power of anxiety. By understanding how anxiety impacts your relationships, you can create positive change within a relationship dynamic.